I recently heard someone say “No one will give as much as you do.” Is that expected? If you give just to receive, you aren’t sincerely giving. And, if you are looking for someone that matches your level of “givingness”, there lies the problem. Don’t look for anyone. Just do you, be you, for you. The right people will come along and probably at a time you least expect it.

Friends come to me for advice all of the time. Advice about cooking, parenting, relationships, and life, in general. I am no expert on any of those subjects and don’t pretend to be. But, I am real. I look at all angles. I don’t say things that they want to hear. I speak the truth of my opinion. I always try to show another perspective. I’ve made many mistakes in my life, but I always learn from them. They aren’t failures, but simply learning opportunities.

So many people think something or someone will make them happy. How can anything MAKE you happy? Only you can make yourself happy. Anything else should just add to your level of happiness. If it doesn’t, you don’t need it. I’ve learned this and am constantly reminding myself of this. If you depend on outside sources to keep you happy, you need to delve deeper into yourself and figure out how to make you happy.

I have a friend that is in a very similar situation that I was in late last year and into the beginning of this year. She wants “out” and is publicly reaching out for help. Reading through her posts, the only thing that stands out is all the excuses of why she is still where she is. They are obvious. I see them, because I made the same excuses. And like I told her, only she can decide when she’s had enough. No one can tell her when that time has come. No one can make the decisions for her. And when that time comes, no excuse will come to mind, just action. Until then, she’ll be stuck circling that rabbit hole, running through the corn maze, or repeating the same cruel sentence, so to speak. Some people make it out, and heartbreakingly, some don’t.

I make the half-joking statement “if you know me, you’ll love me.” I laugh when I say it, because it seems so arrogant and pompous to utter such words. But, it is true. If someone takes the time to get to know ME, all that is Tami, they will love me. The things that I do, the support that I give, the kindness that I show, the love that I share is all real, freely given with no expectations in return. Some view it as inauthentic. That’s only because they have never had someone in their life that was like me. I’m not so full of ego to think I’m perfect. I’m perfectly imperfect, and I love myself for that. Again, I am REAL.

I can only hope and pray that those I cross paths with will find their real. I yearn for them to find happiness within their hearts and minds. It hurts my heart to see anyone struggling or unhappy. And, if I can increase their level of happiness by giving them some of mine…well, that’s a gift to me. Have you made yourself happy? Are you struggling to find your real? It’s okay if you haven’t. Just don’t give up on yourself. Scrape your plate clean and start filling it with the things you like. You matter. And until you realize, acknowledge, and accept that, no one else will.

#itsatamithing